Best Hate Mail Ever

Tossing out old papers in preparation for an upcoming office move, I came across what was probably the best hate letter I've ever received. It came in response to FAIR's work on talkshow host Bob Grant–who, after FAIR had documented his bigoted, violent rants and promotion of white supremacy, had been fired by Disney's ABC, and prompty hired by rival station WOR. The unsigned fax contained a page of doggerel:

Hey, "FAIR,"

Bob's still here.

Your little plan didn't work so well, so all of you can go to Hell.

Bob Grant lives, he talks, he rules,

And you look like a pack of mules. Or ghouls?

This is the Land of Liberty & it's what I take free speech to be.

When you monitor one, you monitor all, you have some gall,

To single out one to take the fall.

Bob's real name is Bob Gigante,

Don't try to be a vigilante.

It won't work, don't be a jerk,

As you lurk, to find a quirk, in everything he says.

Black & white is not the issue,

A pleasant day I do not wish you.

BOB GRANT RULES THE AIRWAVES!

I wrote "FAIR's Bob Grant Success" (Extra! Update, 6/96) pretty much in response to that poem. But while I disagreed with the critique of our work, I did appreciate the style with which it was expressed. And I do try not to be a vigilante.